Mr. Stinky Droolface

“Stinky’s getting to be a Grampa Dog,” my sister pointed out two years ago when gray started showing in his muzzle and he started limping like me on rainy days.

Impossible. In my head he is still a puppy. He’s 180 lbs of drooling, woofing, farting Mastiffosaurus Wrecks, so it’s not his size… I guess it’s because my son is still a boy, at 10 years old. They have grown up together, and I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to accept that his life is very nearly over.

baby and mastiff puppy
My sister Lois refereeing Stinky and Danny Boy
UNCLE!! He took my ball again!!!

Over the last few weeks, his knee had begun to swell, so Lois took him to the vet. It’s cancer, it’s growing very fast, and he is too old and arthritic for amputation to be an option. We are treating him for pain and inflammation, but the bones can’t take much more. Very soon, he’ll have to be put down.

I keep telling myself that dying is a part of living. That 8-10 years is the life expectancy of a large breed dog.  This still sucks. So I reviewed the 5 Stages of Grief Model.

I believe Kübler-Ross is right; grieving is a process. It’s normal to be angry, try to “bargain” loss away, get depressed and/or accept it. Sometimes all in the same day. These stages don’t happen in order, one time each, and then go away.

I always thought denial was such a terrible thing. Then a few years ago someone very wise explained that denial is actually a very useful coping mechanism. It gives our minds and hearts a little time to catch up to reality. While part of me is saying, “No no no no nope. Not today. Forget it. NO storm. E-I-E-I-NO,” etc. another part of me is slowly accepting life on life’s terms. And one of those terms is that nothing lives forever.

Sometimes, people use this as a reason to not have pets (or relationships..been there!). And I can see why it’s tempting. Losing a pet is painful. Every time we lose an animal, part of me says, “Eff this; never again.” But that doesn’t last long. (Anger, lol 😉 ) The benefits of unconditional love far outweigh the inevitable pain of loss. Every time.

So I guess now it’s real. I’m gonna go rub his belly and let him slobber on my face and WOOF at my big purple hat because it scares him when we wear different clothes.


25 thoughts on “Mr. Stinky Droolface

  1. Oh my Miss Pajari you ahve touched my heart. Little do we know the beautiful hidden talents our friends my have ~ and yours is truly the gift of writing. A heart heavy story about not just a ‘dog’, but an amazing, beautiful part of your life. Thank you so much for sharing. Kristi (aka: Sophie’s mom)


  2. That was beautiful. And sad. Mr. Stinky Droolface (albeit his name) is a love muffin. I’m glad dogs don’t understand cancer. I like you insight on denial. I am in denial about my age. Will not accept that as a reality. So plan on being in denial for a long time. And thank you girls for helping me stay there a long time.


  3. I am sorry honey. My dog Ally is dying now of cancer. She isn’t in pain, but there are moments. The vet says she can be put down anytime, but as long as she is still functioning I can’t. I love her so much.


        1. Beats crying, every time.

          Another thing: sorry it took so long to reply–I didn’t realize your blog wasn’t wordpress. I’me raisin my hand–I fell behind lol


    1. Posted on Dee, I want your dog so badly I am tempted to sneak in and do seitohmng felonious. What IS he? Where can I GET one? I want one JUST LIKE THAT ONE, crap and all. And that’s love, my friend.


  4. 😦 How stinking cute is Dani-boy in those pictures!!??!? OMG! I’m so sorry about Stinky. I’m not good at losing pets either. I tend to harbor the angry “I’m never getting another pet again” feelings for several months after. My heart hurts for you ladies and I LOVE YOU! XOXO


    1. Thanks, Chelsea…. I knew you’d understand. Love you too. I’m grateful Lois and BigGuy know so much about the big breeds; at least we knew it was coming sooner than with a little dog.

      Then again, that’s why Lois got Patch a roni chug a choni ravioli roly poly ole the blue healer…she wanted a friend that would live longer. But cancer took him much sooner than we’d hoped.

      I still think it’s worth it, though.


  5. I am very sorry for the loss you’re experiencing. I know exactly how you feel. I have lost many pets before and right now I am facing the impending loss of my elderly rabbit (who is the oldest animal I have) and my sister’s wonderful dog who I am very close to. Both of them are very arthritic and have trouble doing normal things. Sometimes they fall down. They’re both older, greyer and thier fur is ragged. Sometimes I see them asleep and I wonder if thier time has come only to find it hasn’t yet and I’m lucky enough to have more time with them. It’s possible that very soon they will have to be put down as well.
    I think we both know how hard it is… Just remember all the love your animals have given you and try to give it back.


  6. Dogs, Dogs, Dogs…what to do; to have or not to have? to love and have lost is better than never to have had them in our lives to begin with…as you know we have had and lost 3 Saints in 10 years and are on our 4th…I never grew up with animals but have inherited the love of dogs and their unconditional love since Chris and I moved in together many moons ago. I never knew the love and hurt that people felt until that 1st doggie left us for the Rainbow Bridge ( it was an inherited Golden that was Chris’ families dog, named Boomer ; he was gorgeous)…I am getting way to teary to type/read this clearly so I must sign off for now…LOVEYABYE sisters…


  7. That is so sad! I had to recently put down my 17 yr old Pit mix. I loved her to death. I rescued her at the age of 7 from a shelter, because no one else wanted a dog that old. She had been there for 6 months! She acted like a puppy until last year, when she started to really show her age. Then this year hit her hard. Her kidneys started to fail and I had the hardest decision to make. She was one of my 3 babies. Now one of my other ones is starting to show his age. I thought i was going to lose him several times, but he is a fighter like she was. It’s so hard to lose a pet, they are so much like me they ARE my family. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Best wishes.


    1. Thanks :’) Gotta love rescues…even if they come with baggage lol. I love being Fairy Dogmother to my sister and brother-in-law’s furry kids. Dogs are so much easier to love than humans, maybe because they are better at giving unconditional love?


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